How to Be a Girl

Starred review from August 30, 2021
Debut author Mack brings her podcast of the same name to the page with a stunning story of “the profoundly complex and beautiful possibilities of gender.” From the time that her child, who was born a boy, began begging for ballet classes and princess dresses, Mack sensed something was different about them. In 2011, at age three, her daughter—referred to only as M. throughout—informed Mack that she didn’t want to be a girl, she was one. “From that moment on, she was,” writes Mack. Once M. was allowed to live out her true gender identity, Mack watched as her “disappointed and frustrated child replaced by a deliriously happy one.” Determined to give M. the best life she could, Mack joined a support group and in 2014 started a podcast to offer her insights and interview others, like the founder of the TransYouth Project, advocating for children who identify as transgender. Here, she does the same, weaving together touching moments with her daughter with helpful things she learned along the way—including, for instance, that “gender identity isn’t the same thing as sexuality, though people confuse these two things all the time... about who you are, not whom you will love.” Smart, honest, and deeply personal, this illuminating work should be required reading.