The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent

January 30, 2023
After she attempted to take her own life before this book’s start, 18-year-old Del finally feels things are getting back on track. She’s living in San Francisco with her beloved aunt Fran, volunteering at a suicide-prevention hotline, attending meetings for her alcohol dependency, and taking medication to manage her anxiety and depression. Del is excited for the arrival of her crush and family friend Nick, a premed college student with retinitis pigmentosa who’s visiting San Francisco for a summer internship at UC Berkeley. She had hoped to pursue a relationship with him, and she’s gutted when he tells her he just wants to be friends. Her life is further upended when she learns that Aunt Fran has terminal cancer and plans to enter hospice at home. With intensely emotional and honest prose, Jacobus (Romancing the Dark in the City of Light) conveys Del’s inner turmoil and longing for relief from the constant pain and fear of death she believes haunt her life. The narrative’s overall tone can sometimes read as unrelentingly melancholy; supportive health coordinators and mentors help Del confront her fears and find a new appreciation for life in this hopeful read. Characters default to white. Ages 13–up. Agent: Erzsi Deàk, Hen&ink Literary Studio.